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Misconceptions about Grief


Today we will begin to look at the 10 misconceptions about grief offered to us by Alan Wolfelt.

We all experience love throughout our lives. When we experience love and lose someone or something that we hold with reverence the natural response is to grieve. Some may think it silly to grieve over the loss of a job, a pet, a home, a child going off to college or yes even a car. You and I are relational people. So, when we move away from people or experiences that have given us joy, we experience loss.

We begin with the 1st misconception Grief and mourning are the same thing. Grief relates to the inner thoughts and feelings we experience when someone we love dies. Mourning is the expression of our grief/loss outside of ourselves. Talking about our loved one, crying, expressions of loss using music or art and those celebrations including anniversaries. Have you ever heard “you are still grieving? It’s time to get on with your life. After all it’s been six months.” Grief has no timeline. Our society tells us that there is a time to grieve. If we are lucky we receive bereavement time for a loss. Many people find it difficult to hear of another’s loss because it brings to the surface their own losses. Remember that this loss is real. Sometimes we hold our feelings in thinking that others would never understand. This can become the norm for us. Then later we find ourselves angry, anxious, bitter and depressed. This is our grief reminding us to mourn. It is up to each of us to work through our loss. Our loved ones can only bear so much of our moodiness before it begins to take a toll on our relationships. It is important for us to express our feelings. We can do this through journaling, art, music, being in nature and of course therapy with a grief counselor. Acknowledging our loss allows us to move to the next step working it through. Working through our loss does not mean the memories of our loved one will disappear. In fact, we may experience a flood of beautiful memories once we allow ourselves to mourn. Today take the time to reflect on someone or something you are still grieving. Take the time to allow this experience to rise and offer you some peace. Write about or talk to the memory, accept the beauty of the experience or sadness from the loss and release it to our loving god and the universe.

Affirmation

NOTICE JOY A multitude of small delights constitutes happiness.

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